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Difficult people..
Do we fight, turn the other cheek or roll over?
WWJD.. remember those bracelets? What would Jesus do?!
When people make our blood bubble we need to go back those 3 p’s we learned at the beginning of the year..
Pause
Permit
Pray
But also, it would be really helpful if we read our bibles because we would find that Jesus handled these people with “all the above” ..
He showed controlled authority.. He didn’t lose his “poop” he didn’t stomp his feet and run off..
He didn’t become an egotistical jerk.. Or an insecure one for that matter..
He definitely pointed to scripture.. Again the Bible is our ultimate guide to life… sure, one could say it’s all one really big hoax or someone was a wealthy genius but why do so many people believe in it then? Why do so many people believe God’s word? Why do you? Or do you?
Could it be the holy spirit he placed inside us pulling us in the right direction? If not, have you paused lately to even feel at all? Anything at all?
We call it prayer or meditation or even forest bathing, but when was the last time you seriously took time out to acknowledge how you are feeling (why are you getting so bent out of shape interacting with this person or are you?) , where it’s coming from and where it’s telling you to go? When was the last time you invested in you? Or how about, when was the last time you invested in God?
Homework: Read the Sermon on the Mount… Matthew chapters 5-7.. click
In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus was quite specific about dealing with difficult people: “But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. “....
We are guilty of calling on God in difficult situations, but what effort do we put in any other time? Do we thank him for the good stuff? Or just go around acting like entitled jerks ourselves?
I’m going to encourage you again to consider the SheRUGGED Empowerment Program for an option to continue growth in your faith journey (as well as your health and fitness). And if not us, find a bible study group! Most of us here at SheRUGGED hadn’t even picked up a bible for years, didn’t know where to start or “how to even study the vastness of it!”
And here’s the kicker … we are still working on it and will for the rest of our lives! So don’t make those excuses not to keep up your FIGHT For your FAITH. I guarantee you that when you grow in your faith in God, you will see you. You will feel you. You will sense the holy spirit showing you how to handle these difficult people or difficult situations.
YUP! I went and did it! I want more ladies supporting more ladies... so I've lowered the investment price AGAIN! This is your last chance to get in on the SheRUGGED Empowerment program for 2024! For $500 for the FULL YEAR! You will have access to full length strength videos, daily written cardio program for ALL LEVELS, Bible Study group -online, and our new exciting "sportsyou" platform (like facebook but not controlling!), Nutrition plan and more!
That's less than $50/month to get your health and fitness on.. as well as grow in your faith with making friends!
I have to tell you that I experienced this recently myself. Dealing with a dodo head. (haha) ... Dealing with a person who I would say was one of the biggest jerks I ever met. The whole reason or one of the big ones we have to get "sportsafe "certified as coaches is so coaches, owners, volunteers, directors you name it.. Don’t bully, belittle, or mistreat you in any way physical, mental or emotional.
So when I stepped into the role of an assistant soccer coach for my daughters soccer team because none of the hired coaches were showing up, I was surprised to encounter this. Let me just give you the run down... when we signed up for the club, we had an awesome head coach and assistant coach. Something happened, the assistant coach got fired. We were all sad. But then the head coach started having some personal issues.. and during this time we were supposed to be having practices but coaches were MIA. They sent "fill in" coaches and others, but no one consistent for these girls to get to know them and help them grow ( I mean isn't that why we are paying club soccer thousands of dollars over rec programs?).
Most of the parents are collegiate soccer players but not necessarily coaches. So as a whole we helped out these girls (not because we didn't have our own careers or other responsibilities to tend too but a lot because we were stuck between a rock and a hard place-- like college athletes, club athletes have to get a release to leave a team and that's only offered twice and year). Being the only licensed parent (as well as a current a lifelong coach, it was a pretty natural role for me to step into, although I admitted I was a little rusty in the soccer department). The head coach and I finally talked, it was a good conversation of expectations and I agreed to help out knowing he was going through some personal stuff. The teamwork between us was good. But wait, here comes the bomb! The club hired a new director... who then stepped in and bullied me right out. Not knowing the timeline of events that had even occurred up until this point, not knowing my credentials ( seriously.. either didn't bother to look or assumed I was a mom on a power trip or maybe just insecure since I actually qualify for his job too).
I'm going to go with a little of "all the above" but especially the mom power tripping.. Especially because after all of this poor treatment, he then drops another bomb. Can you run practice today? Oh yeah, there's a new head coach coming today as well. I'm like what the heck is going on.. and so are all the parents at this time.. and then of course the girls!? Geesh..
"As children experience the same routines over and over, the brain strengthens connections that will lead to trust and secure attachments. Children who live in consistent environments also learn to regulate their own emotions and behavior better, because they know what to expect of the world around them."
"When kids are led with inconsistency, they are more likely to display negative behaviors."
"And we all know at any age... Moreover, inconsistency can have a negative impact on your well-being. Inconsistency can lead to feelings of frustration, disappointment, and self-doubt, which can have a negative effect on your overall well-being. Consistency is essential for achieving your goals and personal and professional development."
We are not all perfect and perfectionism is unrealistic in itself ...but of course I was there for the girls, the players.. Why the heck else would I volunteer 16 hours of my time a week to do so? I was not getting paid, nor did I want to get paid.. I do believe that this would demonstrate some passion for coaching period, but especially for my daughter! I was not a power tripping mom and I was totally supported by the parents in this matter which I'm grateful for, for the girls sake.
My point is that difficult people and situations happy anywhere anytime and we must put on the armor of God every day, every morning (little by little) keep learning and reading his word so we do know how to handle these situations.
In my case, I was literally bullied out of my coaching position, but recorded a detailed timeline of all texts/calls/instances of this emotional mistreatment and handed it to the owner of the soccer club. Although I hated feeling like I left the girls hanging, I had no choice but to remove myself from the situation. But once again, I had to do the 3p’s..
Pause
Give myself that permission to take that pause and take the time to collect my thoughts and write down my detailed timeline to think through it
And pray about a positive outcome but also that I was handling it how Jesus would..
So you see, in situations like this, Jesus doesn’t tell you to turn the other cheek and apply pacifism… or go for revenge… yet understanding your self worth and trying to understand how God would see it. And as hard as it is… yes praying for that difficult person like they were your best friend.
And God answered again. So out of the situation, I was confused, disappointed and wondering why God would even let it happen when there are kiddos involved?
That same day, I kid you not... I received an email in my inbox. The crazy thing is, I typically wouldn't open a "spam" like message.. but I did. It was about a youth cross country running program! I was sucked in right away and couldn't believe I didn't know about this before! There is actually youth (elementary age) competitive cross country... even nationals and such! Yay! So like a power tripping mom (I guess :) .. I had Wyatt, my hubby's help and we started the process of all of our non-profit paperwork, USATF club applications etc! What a great, positive sport to get kids involved in! If I wanted nothing else for my daughter, or any kid for that matter... it would be to engage in sports with a happy, positive, supportive, confidence growing way!
Mountain Movers XC was birthed! click here
We only have had a few practices and one meet, but there is no doubt that these amazing little human beings will be competitive at the state/regional and national level!
When God closes one door, he may just need to in order to open another door for you. To teach you to lean even harder into him when difficult or confusing situations arise. He may be looking out for you too, surrounding you with new relationships that empower both you and them! So even though, Maya is still continuing to play soccer at the same club (for now), and I am still supporting her at her soccer games, she is also running cross country where she is letting her light shine as I am coaching XC and letting my light shine. Does this mean we tucked tail and bolted... nope, you can listen to my podcast on all of this to have that better understanding of WWJD in all circumstances.
Registration for the SheRUGGED Empowerment program ends December 1st 2023. We start January 1st 2024. This is open to those ladies 21 years or older, single, divorced, with kids, without kids, lost, broken, happy, sad, .... all levels of fitness, all levels of faith, and we will help you with your fight!